February 19th, 2021

For Steven, on what would have been your 40th birthday.

You would have celebrated your 40th birthday today. Well, that may not be entirely true, because as I recall you weren’t a fan of celebrating your birthday. You loved celebrating others more than yourself so you always worked to keep things lowkey. Today, though, I’m going to celebrate you and the amazing person you were.

When we first met you were rough around the edges, to say the least, but I would come to find out that that hard exterior was guarding the biggest and softest heart. Many people missed that, but not me, I saw right through the walls you’d built up. Honestly, you weren’t in a great place, but we shared a lot of laughs and spent a lot of time just hanging out. We were both young and had a lot of growing up to do and would do it together.

When we started dating I remember you telling me the story of how you recently rescued a cat. That was probably when I realized you were just a big teddy bear. She was a cream point siamese that got lost in the rain and you found her under a bench at work soaking wet. You took her home, got her to the vet and treated her pneumonia. You nursed her back to health. We went on to have 3 cats from her, one of which had a single kitten which is now the only cat that remains. Penny is still chasing her tail and playing fetch, sometimes at 3am. When she was born you were excited that she was the same color as her mom, cream point colors. Alas, she eventually got her spots and is now a beautiful calicoe. I laugh when I think about the day you saw the first spot of color coming through. The jokes we made about the “random neighborhood cat”.

We shared a lot of laughs over the years. You were a prankster for sure! So many cups of ice water were thrown in our house while one of us was taking a nice hot shower. 😄 Of course the pranks weren’t just on each other, it was as if sarcasm and pranks were how you told someone you loved them. My grandmother thought you could do no wrong even though you would catch snakes and bring them around the front of the house. She would yell and run into the house. She thought it was funny most of the time. Gosh she loved you. You would do anything for her, well for anyone actually.

I’m certain Acts of Service was your love language. Anytime someone was in need and you could help you would. When my mom needed her garden tilled, you showed up. When my dad needed to run eclectic or water you were there with the heavy equipment. If a friend needed an extra $20 or a ride somewhere you stepped in. That one time in the grocery line when the mother of 3 didn’t have enough to cover all the groceries you didn’t hesitate. You were always there for people. You wanted to show people they mattered.

You taught me all about football and why Dallas was the superior NFL team. I kept it to myself that I was a 49ers fan until we found ourselves in a championship game against each other years later. 😏 I knew the basics about the game but learned all the rules in a very short time since football was on practically 24/7. *Thanks NFL Network… I’m pretty sure we watched games that aired before either of us was born. I learned who the Deion shuffle and how to read the call signs from the refs. I yelled at the TV right alongside you for years. When we got married I decided we should go to Dallas, TX (Irving) for a Cowboys game as our honeymoon. I figured it was only fair after putting you through the year-long process of planning a wedding. On October 5, 2008, Dallas played Cincinnati, and as an added bonus it was the 50th anniversary for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. Dallas came away with a win that day and we had shared so many laughs and smiles that I’ll never forget my first ever NFL game. Now I talk football with the nephews and have loved watching them play over the years. I remember listening to one of Trent’s games back in 2016 and all the ways you cheered him on from our living room. I often think about things you’d say to them when I watch them play or see them discouraged after a down. I’ll keep cheering them on for you.

Speaking of sports remember that time you took a line drive to the chin! I swear it needed stitches, but you strapped a panty liner to it with electrical tape just to finish the game! It makes me laugh just to think about how you looked on the mound. We played for 10 years together as catcher and pitcher. Those were some of the best years of my life! I had never played sports outside of the occasional backyard basketball or volleyball game. Of course, I was always either in right field or behind the plate on our D league softball team, but I loved every minute of it. When we first started playing with our family we were all a bunch of kids (early 20s) who could still run well. Our way of encouraging each other as we were up to bat was through sarcasm and low blows. We always had fun and most of us were too hard on ourselves for our own good. I remember one game we were unexpectedly playing a team that had a few of my co-workers on it. We all huddled up and vowed that we would beat them and we did. From that day on I was Softball Kristy to one of them. When we moved to a new ballpark we made new friends and shared so many laughs with some of the other teams. During one game I remember being in the right field and the best hitter of the opposing team hit a pop-fly directly over my head, but I caught it!!!! Then I forgot to throw it in to tag out the other players on the bases. But we celebrated anyway, he was even proud of me.

The last 3 years of your life reflected your grit and drive to always move forward. After your stroke you approached every obstacle with the same drive you put out for every thing in life. Every day you put in the work to regain your independence. I was so thankful when you finally regained full cognition and everything that made you, you was still there. I know it was frustrating to not have your mobility, but I was thankful to have you. I’m thankful you were able to see how others loved you just as much as you loved them.

Your love for family and friends was always impressive. It showed with all the memories they shared with me…

“I always remember Steven as a big man with an even bigger heart. He was to be admired for the courage he had facing the challenges of his stroke. He will be missed.” — Gary & Carla

“Steven was a dear friend & valued employee for many years. Grandpa James thought very highly of him & he knew from your first day working with us that you had the potential to be a great employee. I’m sure that was hard to see at first since he threw Steven out there on his own without much guidance. Steven was one of the best employees but became part of the family.” — Justen Vinson

“I always appreciated Steven’s introvertness. We would find a corner away from the noise and just chit, eat and talk sports. He was a big strong guy that had a gentle spirit and a great sense of humor. I will miss him dearly but cherish time we had with him.” — Tyler Jones

“One of my most memorable moments with Steven would be the time we went on the men’s retreat with the church. Spending the cold night on an air mattress, that we forgot the cap to and losing plenty of lures while fishing. It was a great time that I know I will never forget.” — David Lowman, Jr.

“Steven came over to fix a water leak with David Vinson, he disappeared for a bit. When David found him he was writing ‘Steven was here’ on a Christmas ornament on the tree! That ornament hangs every year.” — David Vinson

Final update on Steven was posted on February 23, 2017.

“The weather was perfect. Softball weather for our favorite pitcher in fact. Friends and family gathered together to say our final “see you laters” and honor Steven. The music was beautiful, the slideshows were touching and the words spoken were eloquent and heartfelt. The past two and a half years have been a time of such incredible growth for Steven. His Faith increased. His marriage was strengthened. His resolve and determination grew to limitless heights. He changed our family. He changed his friends. He changed me. By the number of people that made it to the celebration today and the amount of encouraging words, support and prayers poured out by those that could not make it prove the impact of Steven’s life.

Friends, let’s not let his legacy end today. Let Steven’s impact live on. Face each day with the same grit and determination, gentleness, and kindness that Steven did. He truly faced his giants (of course, pun intended). And now, he is pitching a perfect game on a perfect field in a perfect Heaven.

Steven, I’m looking forward to the day I meet you again. Until then, I know you’re enjoying a heavenly cup of coffee with our grandma. Thank you for loving my sister and increasing our family. I miss you and I love you.”

— Melissa Parker

Thank you for everything you taught me, how you changed me, how you loved me, and for all the memories.