40 a Milestone Birthday
40 years. It’s hard to believe that I will be turning the big 4–0 this year. It’s also hard to believe that I’ve made it this far. So much life experience, yet so much left unseen and undone. And I know exactly what I want for my birthday…
When I was little, 40 seemed so old, as if turning 40 meant you didn’t have much life left. I mean, come on, the 40th birthday parties I saw as a kid certainly made it seem like it was close to the end of life. From the “over the hill” gag gifts like walkers and canes to the coffin birthday cakes… yes, you read that right, someone had a coffin birthday cake with black icing and all. Through the eyes of a child, all of that will undoubtedly make you want to do “all the things” before that birthday arrives. Since then, I’ve certainly learned that 40 does not equal old. Although I’ve lived through more than most people my age have, I still have a lot of living left to do.
After a life-changing event with my now late husband (Steven), I realized that watching life pass me by was not enough. We went through all of the motions we were told would create a meaningful life: we got married, bought a house, found good jobs with good benefits, spent time with family, etc. However, life-changing events bring new perspectives.
In 2014, Steven suffered a brain stem hemorrhage stroke. There are a couple of things to know here: Steven had been an alcoholic who had tried to quit without medical assistance; unfortunately, this surfaced his severe high blood pressure which untreated resulted in a massive stroke. We didn’t realize at the time how bad his blood pressure was until it was too late. He spent a year in rehabilitation facilities before coming home where I became a full-time stay-at-home working wife and caregiver.
Significant events like that can cause you to reflect and reevaluate your life; something we found ourselves doing in 2016. That evaluation led us both to want to do and experience more. We discussed what that would look like given that Steven was still fully dependent and trying to recover his mobility. I researched travel options that were wheelchair accessible and read about people actively living that lifestyle. Once we were able, we would begin reaching for that life. In February 2017, Steven passed away on a Friday evening two days before his 36th birthday. It took a couple of years and several therapy sessions before I decided to move out of our hometown to the big city and another year before I dove into experiencing life on my own.
I began to travel more and find local ways to experience life too. I participated in a local Spicy Ramen Eating Contest. I got my passport after booking my flights to Tokyo, Japan to visit family where I would also climb Mt. Fuji with my SIL (#classicus). I went on my first solo trip to the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee. I explored my local city, the art, the food, the beautiful cultures, and so much more. I remembered the bucket list I wrote in 2016 and began checking things off while experiencing things I hadn’t even considered, like competing in a food competition. Climbing a mountain and taking a solo trip have been accomplished, but I still have much left to discover.
So, this is my 40. I’m choosing to live life to the fullest. Here’s to 40, 🥂 and here’s to living. For my next adventure, and in honor of my 40th birthday, I plan to travel to the home of my ancestors — Ireland! ☘️ In lieu of birthday gifts, I’m asking for some help to get there. I’ve included QR codes to my Cash App and Venmo accounts for easy gift-giving. Thank you for helping me reach my next goal!!
In the famous words of Andy Dufresne from the hit motion picture The Shawshank Redemption: “I guess it comes down to a simple choice. Get busy living, or get busy dying.”
